just a little why me

I have lupus and severe Rheumatoid Arthritis and a heart murmur.I am so sick and tired of feeling tired and blah.I know there are people both adults and children much worse off so I will whine and get over it.One dr stopped the Klexana(blood thinner) and the other wants to know why.I am on beta blockers and still have some arrhythmia but its better.I don't feel the "rolling" of my heart anymore but the rapid beating scares me.I cannot wait for the EKG to be over with and get this under control...My therapist has said no to PT since she is afraid I might have more trouble since the bones rub together but is sending me to water therapy instead(therapy is a result of walking across the room and a bone splintering off and having emergency knee surgery in march)